Solitude of a person means isolation, lack of contact with other people. It may appear from deliberate choice, contagious disease or repulsive personal habits.
Solitude for a long period of time is often seen as loneliness, resulting from inability to establish relationships. For some people solitude is not depressing, however, for the majority of them, solitude appears because of other's rejection, having negative effects on many levels.
Usually people live in loneliness when they are not accepted in the society, because of their faults. Thus, solitude resulting from other's rejection can be seen as a punishment; therefore, we can consider it as being one of our best teachers. It expresses the pain of being alone. In this case, solitude teaches us how to be respectable persons, with high moral values. It helps us understand the character we have: do we know how to gain a friend or are we sociopaths?
However, the situation takes a completely different course of action when teens and solitude "spend time together'. Usually teens face rejection in schools; whether they deal with classmates' inappropriate behavior towards them or with total rejection, they tend to keep these problems for themselves.
If parents are not sufficiently involved in their children's life, in order to notice the difficulties they face at schools, how are children and teens supposed to live through this ordeal? And a more important question is: what impact has other's rejection on teens' development as adults? Would they lead normal lives as adults? Would they integrate in the society? Or maybe, they will suffer consequences throughout their whole lives, being also rejected as adults, at work, or maybe being incapable of developing social skills, incapable of teamwork…
Now, although it may sound as an every kid's situation which passes along with childhood, the problem is more rooted into reality. Imagine a domino effect: teens face rejection in schools - as grown ups, they suffer the consequences - they become frustrated – they are not able to correctly assess their value in the society – they always consider themselves inferior to others - not being capable of developing human relationships – at work, problems relating with the others may appear, maybe incapability of working in teams – they loose the chance of being promoted – they are unable to grow on the social hierarchy – more frustration appears –in the personal life, problems in interaction with the opposite gender may appear, and so on. This would be the worse case scenario, but we have to take it into consideration in order to stop things before getting there.
But to start from the beginning, why are children rejected in schools? From my point of view, there are two options.
Firstly, children and teens are being rejected by others because of their own character. Yes, I know it sounds harsh, but how many of us have had an annoying classmate with whom we didn't like to spend time? Maybe he or she was too talkative or too persistent. Although in such cases solitude can prove to be a good teacher, when teens are involved, the situation differs. They don't have the intellectual maturity required in order to understand the reasons for other's behavior. They don't see their faults and, if they don't talk to adults about this situation, they don't have any chance to improve their personality. Moreover, they will start developing an aggressive attitude towards society, blaming everyone but themselves.
So here is my advice: if you are a teen and you are confronting with the problem of being rejected by others, don't necessarily blame them! You should first analyze your attitude towards the society, speak to your parents about what is going on and try to be a polite person; don't do to others what you don't like to be done and try to integrate in the society! Talking to a psychologist is also an excellent idea!
Now, if you are parents, and you start noticing that your teen child doesn't talk on the phone to classmates, friends, he doesn't invite classmates over in order to do school projects together, an so on, it's time to take action! Maybe your teen is ashamed to speak to you about such problems, but you can speak to him! You are mature enough to understand if your teen is being rejected due to his inappropriate behavior. Convince him to tell you about the situations in which he felt rejected, and you will have the answer!
However, there is a second reason for which our teens live in solitude. I think we've all heard of bullies. They like to inflict pain to others just for fun; and unfortunately, they don't exist only in movies. Usually, they target shy, emotive and introverted children or teens, who don't respond to these "attacks'. The bullies and their friends laugh at their targets, and gradually, the targeted children or teens become rejected by others, too. In their further development as adults, we can recognize the lack of self-esteem, lack of recreational time spent with friends, even the loss of their own personality. As adults, they will constantly try to please the others, in order to be accepted by them.
My advice for both teens and adults is to take action, to speak about these problems and try to solve them as quickly as they can! Only by treating the childhood problems with seriousness, we can ensure a harmonious development of our children and teens, thus, they can become respectable persons in the society.